always with the same person

Nothing is going in my head.


~*~

I hate the nervous system and I swear that I'll never work in a neuro ward.


I think I better keep that to myself, because whatever I promise myself I wouldn't do, I'd end up doing just exactly that.

Like how I promised myself I wouldn't be a nurse,
And that I wouldn't be studying anything that has Bio in it.

I end up doing both.


This is so depressing.
God, I hate the human body.




I told bestfs that giving me an oven for my birthday was the gravest mistake because I feel like baking every single day!

I would spend hours in the kitchen just fixing something and more hours cleaning up, washing up and drying everything, storing the baked goods and everything else,
I've got no time to study ):

I shall stop being stupid and study today, sigh!


Overdue pics:



My first gingerbread attempt and the dough gave me lots of shit by clinging onto the counter/aluminium foil and what not, had to flour it so much.






You really don't wanna know how long I've spent decorating these little men.



Gingerballs.



On another day I baked really sinful brownies.


Which I couldn't stop eating ZZZ.



Bestf and I went to Subway yesterday and there was this really funky sandwich artist who went like, "Sorry we're closed" and being me, I was like oh, and was ready to leave.

Apparently he was just kidding.


._.


Had my usual turkey breast and he asked me if I would like a bra for them.


.______.



OH WELL.



Anyways,
I'ma go off and get ready for Church now.
Then have lunch then proceed to study my Biology zzz.






Goodbye, have a nice Sunday! (:

are we just friends?

What makes her just everything I can never be?



~*~


I have another bruise on my knee! ):



End of Week 5 and I'm dreading the impending test and presentation due on Week 6.


Refuse to continue asking why time passes so fast,
It just does and it's really annoying.

And still, nothing is done.

AHHHH.


Woke up at 6 am freezing and drowsy this morning,
I literally had to pry my eyelids open and drag myself to the toilet because I had an 8 am lecture, apparently it was on a pretty important module.

Lina & I arrived at the lecture about 10 minutes late and plopped ourselves on the chairs just to find out that this wasn't a lecture at all, it was a student dialogue session.

Where they ask stuffs like "So, how are you coping with all the modules?"


And then we had to stone in school until 12 pm because we had 3 hours of break after that redundant dialogue session.
Hate my life.



What's wrong with me these days, I keep feeling hungry every single moment!
I keep eating and eating and am scaring myself max.
Zomg, I'm gonna be obese and die.

I should stop eating.


I'm like, hungry now.
Again.

ZZZ.


Anyways.



Is it me, or does everyone around me seem to be in love?

Almost everyone seem to have a significant half or at the very least, they are actively dating.
Like, you know, going out on dates with many people and all.


While I just crawl back home everyday after school to play Bejeweled Blitz.


If dating is the new shit then I must be pretty outdated because I'm not dating anyone at the moment ahahaha.
I don't wonder why though, considering that I'm so reluctant to meet new people or to go out with anyone pffft.

Like it's Friday today and I just come home and am suppose to nerd but ends up playing facebook game when everyone else is out clubbing/dating/shopping/hanging out.


OH WELL.
SUCKS TO BE ME.



I have like 18 lectures to study for Biology and I feel so lazy.
Gonna head over to bestf's place tomorrow to nerd I guess.
Nerding at home is never productive, I need to get away.

Hopefully I won't end up sleeping on her bed again WTF HAHAHAHA.


Don't know what's happening to me.

All I know is that I'm so tired now and I'm not even going to bother flipping the pages of the Bio book, I'm just going to brush my teeth and wash my face and die on my bed till the next morning and decide where to start studying.


Study hard, Dearest! Do well please (:



AND.

You know, I always wondered why the Fuji Apples at Fair Price seem to be all bruised up and ugly, and it takes me ages to pick 5 of them.

Yesterday I saw aunties picking the Fuji Apples and examined them, feels unsatisfied with the condition therefore tossing the unwanted one resulting it to land really hard on other apples, pfft.


Well now I know who bruised all the apples in Fair Price.




Good night, world!

i'm only just beginning

Sports is damn not my shit.



~*~


Greetings!


I woke up with a jolt this morning to see that Grace was still sleeping.
Oh, I guess it's still early.
I pulled the covers over my head and tried to fall back asleep and my sister's old Samsung phone hit my elbow.
I flipped it open to see 2 missed calls, 5 messages and it's 8.45 am.


I jerked.


Oh my gawd, my first class is at 9.


So yes, it's the first time I missed a whole lecture and I was just running about aimlessly around the house like oh my shit, what do I do now, what have I forgotten to bring.

First and last, I really hope.

Fell asleep throughout most of my classes, Bio especially.
It's not like I'm not lost enough.
Oh well.

Stayed back after school to run 2.4 km with girlf Kas at the school's sports stadium.
Was all prepared to take the challenge until I saw the tracks.

Woah, no shit man.


I almost died while running the 3rd round;
Completed the 4th round and told Kas to carry on without me.

She dragged me on.

Completed my 5th round and I was ready to drop dead on the tracks and Kas was like,

"Come on girlf, one more round, you can do it."



And I completed my 2.4 km.
Which, I couldn't have done without Kas' constant motivation.
Thanks babe!


Makes me wonder though,
Why do I give up so fast?


Proceeded to climb on swings at the playground and screamed and laughed damn loudly.
It's been a long, long time since I've been on a swing.
Had a great time today.


Determined to run every week even though 2.4 is a killer,
Provided that I do not feel lazy.



Gonna remove contacts now,
It's stuck to my eye and it's damn irritating.

Bye loves!

falling so quickly

Dum dee dummm.



-


I have a bruised shoulder blade, bruised hip bone, two bleeding ankles and headaches.


And somehow still managed to knock myself against the door, causing the knob to stab me in the back that I'm pretty sure there's internal bleeding.

Ohkay, just exaggerating.

I'm so accident-prone, sigh!


Lots of tests & presentations,
It seems like I have so much to do and that I'm madly busy but nothing is done at all.






Imustlovenursing Imustlovenursing Imustlovenursing.







Goodbye!

Silence

"I've been spending all my time
Just thinking about ya
I don't know where to
I think I'm fallin' for you
I've been waiting all my life
And now I found ya
I don't know where to
I think I'm fallin' for you
I'm fallin' for you"

Lab's cold and I miss cuddling you ♥

i've spent forever searching

You stole my heart before I could say no.




~*~


Sometimes I wonder how the hell I managed to tangle myself in this mess of thorns.
Every tiny move leaves me with a scratch, and every time I take an ambitious leap, I get a cut so deep and I finally realize that the rose above me will never be mine.


I don't know how I ended up loving you in this way so wrong, especially when we both know this was not suppose to happen at all.

At times, I feel that I should let my conscience dictate, to fall back to the undeviated path, to settle into the shoes I was once comfortable in - the neat-freak, the geek, the introvert, the play-safe especially with my heart on the poker table, the unloved, and the unwilling to love.

But at times, I just want to lie in the silence of the night, all these thoughts of my old self dissolve into sweet nothingness, with your arms around me, as if we were the only two people in this world, as if there way no day or night, as if there was no date or time.

Ignorance is bliss, they say;
And I would very much like to disregard everything else purposefully, let the days roll by insignificantly - just because nothing else matters when I'm with you;

Just because you're the first person - after years - who manage to make me fall in love again, after years of building higher and thicker barriers around myself and they just crumble within seconds when it comes to you.



Much as I desire something to come out of this, we both know that this isn't going to work between us.

The deeper we fall, the harder it is going to be;
It's not the matter of taking risks or trying hard enough,
We both know that we are just not meant to be,
And as heart-wrenching as it sounds, we'll have to leave it at that.



But my dearest,
Until I am able to find another guy who can take my breath away,
Who is able to make my walls crumble within seconds,
A guy who is able to make me love again,
A guy who can make me feel like you do,

I will always love you.

hello heartbreak, my old friend

I don't know what's going on, I don't know what I'm doing,
I don't know who I am anymore.


The compass that has pointed North my whole life just seemed to swivel around and points South, leading me astray and I'm just stumbling blindly, further and further away from where I'm suppose to be until I find myself lost in a sea of tears.



Can someone,
Can anyone find me?

clouds in my eyes

Your say?

time to let go

With every kiss and every hug, you make me fall in love.



~*~





Hellow!

School has been busy mad!


Assignments & presentations piling up just by Week 3 and everything seem to move by in a whizz once again.
My under-eye dark circles seem to prefer to darken itself and the merciless eyebags just hang themselves on me, le sigh!
I'm having tests on Week 5 & presentations as early as Week 6 (I think), I just want to get it over and done with.


This semester has gotten waaayy harder, and today we had this Health Assessment module which ridiculously, requires you to strip so that your partner can examine you physically.

Got into our usual group, Lina, Fad,HuiLin, TianTian & I, and I don't know how I ended up on the bed (oh right, that's because I'm Lina's partner and she can't wait to get started) and became the patient, and everyone was just touching/poking/pressing/tapping my abdomen to measure my liver/spleen/pulse like zomg, wtf.

And then the teacher came along and started to do all sorts of examinations on me and she was literally jabbing me in my sides and I started laughing and squirming and the teacher was like:


"Girl, relax! You're so tensed!"


Sure Miss Lee, I have 5 pairs of hands on me and I'm suppose to lie there feeling relaxed.


Them friends asked the teacher to demonstrate liver span measurement on me and she started poking me all over my chest, and asked me if I mind taking off my shirt.
WTF, TOUCH EVERYTHING ALREADY TAKE OFF LA.


Then she said "You have to take off your bra too."


WTFFFFFFFFFFFF.


Traumatized much, and all of my friends were like "WHAAAAT? ZOMG, ohkay nevermind" zzz.
Cannot imagine the day of real assessment where we have to expose literally everything, I pray hard that my partner does not get the card that says "Breast Examination" WTF.
I swear my life will be over.


Have class from 11 am - 4 pm tomorrow with no break;
Staying back in school tomorrow to do my presentations, joy, how exciting ._.


Anyway.
What's new is that I'm feeling lost in Biology.

Of all the topics, I freaking hate lymphatic system and cranial system.
Hate the whole freaking brain and spinal cord shit, like seriously I would rather open shop and sell flowers.

At least seeing them makes me happy wtf.


And again I question myself, why am I doing nursing.
Hopefully I'll dream of my grandpa tonight and wake up in a bucketful of tears tomorrow and stop whining about why I picked this path wtf.


Not gonna complain, I'm just gonna do what I can.


Moving on.

You know.
I've never thought I'll ever find myself standing in this position
And I'm surprised that I feel pretty much comfortable in where I stand currently.

Refuse to elaborate any further, and if you happen to know about it, I'm not subjected to any of your judgmental comments, I'd rather you just FOAD, thank you.


I haven't been myself lately.
Been shutting myself from people who care about me & am easily irritated with people whom I care about.
I'm becoming all jittery again and have trust issues once more, and I'm sorry if I seem very distant all of a sudden, I'm trying hard to piece myself together again and hopefully, I'll stop feeling so lost about everything.

Wonder when I'll ever stop turning back at looking at what should have been long gone.




Good night, world.
Sleep till you're filled.

if you want to

I hate it when I'm suppose to crawl to school and it starts raining like a _______outside like thanks, sure, go ahead and make the floor nice and muddy, I like it better that way.

Feeling damn ______, I have a huge ass pimple that hurt shit loads at the angle of my mouth wtf, feel damn demoralized, wanna hide my face and don't wanna see the world z.


Lately I haven't been feeling my best, oh boy, where do I start on the list of things that bug me so badly sometimes coming here feels like a mistake.
Don't ask me anything, I'm best left alone these days.



Ugh, I shall stop talking and get my morning coffee.

leave me alone

Some things that I need to let out.


1) I fucking hate people who invade my privacy. They should just fuck off and die.

2) I hate it when I tell the yong tau foo aunty not to fry all my food and then she hands me a bowl of my tofu & brinjal drenched in oil and I end up trying to suck them dry with tissue paper for half of my break time. And she gives me wrong noodles. Fuck, I might as well not eat.

3) I cannot emphasize enough how much I hate it when NOTHING is done and my house & toilet is fucking dirty.

4) I fucking hate ball-less guys who attitude their girlfriends and drive like a prick, like please, if you're going to drive like a motherfucker, do it when you're alone and if anything happens, you fucking die alone and the world has one less dickhead.

5) I hate those stupid aunties who don't know how to line up for toilet and instead, jump queue and exclaim how long the line is and enter the next available cubicle. News flash woman, you're not the only one who needs to pee.

6) I hate it when the secondary school kids invade my school and bump blindly into me like they have cataract in their eyes and block my way when I'm fucking late, and jeezuz, stop playing catching in campus area. What is wrong with you people, I grew out of catching when I was in Sec 1. SHEESH.

7) I hate it when people start talking fucking loudly in lectures and the lecturer continues screaming over the microphone and subsequently giving me the headache of my life, like seriously people, if you can't pay attention, shut the fuck up and go to sleep.

8) I've got issues with people who take credit for things that they didn't do, accepting compliments that are not meant for them, thinking that they are the best and then end up humiliating themselves. Ha, ha. In yo face, bitch.

9) I hate it when I'm damn explosive because I will beat the living daylight out of anyone who provokes me and that I am a bipolar bitch who has massive mood swings and my PMS does not stand for "PRE-menstrual syndrome" because for me, "P" means "permanent". I have it all the time.


Don't touch me.

the letters you wrote to me

Can we push the reset button, and start over again?






~*~


Hellow!

Been MIA-ing from blogsphere lately.
I have tonnes of stuffs to blog about but no inspiration.


Back in Sg for a week now, and first week of school has been hectic.
Class requested for a change of sub-groups so no more working together in our comfort zone and our last minute stuffs which more often than not, rock socks because that's how we roll.
For a week I've met up almost everyday with bimbo or kenehneh or bimbo and kenehneh, but oh well!

Determined to work harder this semester and hopefully I get to go to pediatrics & obstetric ward for attachment.
Signing bond with TTSH this week and I pray it won't be the wrong choice.


Bad day yesterday - multiple happenings crashing in on me when I was having a massive headache leaving me so oversensitive, so raw, and my tears were more than willing to spill anytime but I'm glad each and every matter turned out just fine in the end.

Met kenehneh this morning to pay a visit to bimbo and then met Lina at Bugis, too tired to go to Changi Aloha for chalet, met kenehneh at Bishan for dinner instead.

Everyone is catching headaches these days, I don't know why but I had headaches 6 days in a row starting Monday and everyone else around me seems to have it too.
I blame the weather!





25.09.09 - Clement's Farewell


So apparently everyone else thought I was still in Singapore and Alyssa made me go and surprised Clement, HAHA.

With the Momo Au & Kern Wen, the extra.


Allison.


Ultraman!

Momo.

Kern Wen, Cheryl.


Bye Clement!



29.09.09 - Sister's Bday!


Got issues with this cake.
Dulan.




All 4 of us have issues man.


Family.


05.10.09 - Baby Daniel's Birthday.



One year old :D


I iz want smash cakesxz.

He damn grouchy lor.
Pfft.


HAH, I miss my godson ):


Some random day over at my place;






Back in Sg:

Bimbo & Kenehneh met me at Changi on 19th.
Dinner with them:

Love.




Kenehneh cooked cheng teng for me on some random day!



Yay! I cooked my own lunch :D



Woke up at 8 am to bake today!


Fairy cupcakes.

Yumm!



Headaches are kicking in again and I should be in bed.
Oh well.


I desire a white iPhone 3Gs! ): ):

you're my remedy

Woke up today to an outbreak of black pores hours prior to my flight back, SIGH!
My life is over.


Speaking of flights, holidays has come to an end.

Like, whaaaat?



Can't believe it's been one month already.
Wooaah, chill the mill, time.
You need to take a chill pill and stop ticking by like every second matters.

I need something to put a hold on time.



School starts tomorrow.
Class from 11 am - 6 pm.



God, I'm now in Semester 2.